No time for regret
by Tatischief
Summary: My Joker/Female Shepard ME3 fantasy. Before the battle begins.


_My ME3 guess. Or rather fantasy. Because I wanted to be dramatic, just this once._

_Sadly I do not own Mass Effect or Joker. Bioware does._

* * *

**No time for regret**

Shepard silently paced around the corner, Arcturus landing zone covered in dim light. There was no life in these parts, most of the human forces scattered around galaxy and Earth. She remembered how this place used to burst with life, so silence around her disturbed her, but just once, only this time she was glad no one was here.

She knew what to do. It had to be done and she knew it, since that time Protheans destiny was imprinted into her mind. Many people had died for this and for her. Soldiers, comrades, her close friends and people she loved. This needs to be stopped. And she needs to do this alone.

She held her hand and traced Normandy metal lines with her fingers as she approached airlock. It opened at the touch of her ID, ship reaction to her presence. She looked around the place; everything was quiet and empty. Her former crew members reassigned or dead, rest of them waiting for new orders. And she always hated waiting. She walked inside, her steps echoing in Normandy silence. This ship was the closest thing to home she ever had. _No_, she shocked her head. It was home. She never had home back on Earth and what Normandy has given her was more than home. It gave a meaning to her life.

Normandy interior has lightened up and ship luminescent white welcomed her. Shepard approached navigator console in CIC and typed commands and her final destination into ship systems. She looked over it controlling her calculations and hesitated for a second. Then she turned abruptly and made her way to the bridge, galaxy map illuminating her steps with blue ambiance. No time for regret now.

Shepard hovered over pilot chair and slowly seated herself. She took some time and leaned deeper, marvelling at how soft this chair actually was. Shepard closed her eyes for a while and smiled at memory. Well there had to be reason why he never seemed to leave this place.

,,What do you think you are doing?," came an angry voice from behind her.

She refused to turn and face the intruder.

,,Exactly what it looks like," she said her voice firm and straight. She adjusted herself in pilot seat and tapped at holo screen controls in front of her.

,,Now leave, before I make you leave".

Shepard tried to sound strong, but her resoluteness was somehow quickly disappearing with every new word and every new thought. And how could she not notice, that someone was following her. She was so engrossed in her task that she was unable to spot him creeping after her. Not very professional.

Person behind her came closer, clearly refusing to give into her command.

,,I am not leaving."

Her right hand went to pistol, trembling just a little. If he won't leave she will have to. She can do this. Shepard silently glanced to side where Edi used to be and then straightened with her pistol in her hand.

,,Joker," she spoke, pointing her gun at the man standing in front of her. ,,I will shoot you if I must. Now leave." She looked at him, standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, that familiar arrogant and stubborn look present on his face.

,,Please," she added.

Joker came closer, only few inches from pistol pointed at him. He looked directly into her eyes. ,,Hell no," he smirked. ,, You are not doing this to me again. And that's _my_ chair you were sitting in. "

He stepped to side, placing his hand on pilot chair, tracing smooth leather with his fingers. His expression was nearly one of adoration – same look he used to have all the time here on Normandy.

Shepard let her pistol drop, again unable to coop with him. If it was someone else than Joker standing before her, maybe...

,,There was never really way with you," she sighted.

,,You are already giving up? ," he teased her. ,, Common, Shepard you can do better! " And with smirk on his lips, he moved closer to his seat, nervously glancing at pistol in Shepard hand. What if she really would shoot him?

,,I am not pointing my gun at you anymore, but I can still shoot you if I decide to," she grunted and wondered how quickly he made her retreat. But this conversation was not over yet.

He eyed her, blank unreadable expression on his face.

,,I may not be as breakable as I was before, but still hurting best pilot in galaxy, just before the big battle." He tsked, cocking his head. ,, That's not very clever."

He urged closer as he spoke, hesitantly placing his hand on Sheppard's, which was still gripping her pistol.

Shepard slightly tensed, dangerously aware of his nearness, of Joker hand placed on hers and stepped back. She leaned on console behind her and _finally_ has put her gun away, rubbing back of her neck with her free hand.

,,Why are you here Joker?"

He brushed some invisible dust from his seat, and looked away, his gaze directed at lighted console.

,, Wherever she goes, I will be going too," he recited, lowering the bill of his hat as if he wanted to hide his face from her.

Shepard stared at the ground. She should know it. He would never leave Normandy behind.

Looking up, she peered into his eyes hidden under his hat.

,, They only want me, Joker. I need her. I have to do this, " was all she said.

He nodded ,, I know. That's why you also need me. "

Shepard shocked her head in disagreement wanting to say something, but he continued, determined not to let her speak and refuse him again.

,,Well. You don't have much time until they notice us snooping around, so go on with it because I am not leaving. " He breathed, seriousness creeping into his words, betraying his casual tone. ,, Listen I know why you want to do this alone, but you won't get rid of me that easily."

He glanced at her, something different and heartbreaking displayed in his eyes. ,, I was always here right? And besides I owe you. "

Shepard was silent for a moment. ,, There is no way back."

,,I know that. "

,,I don't want to lose you."

,,Oh geez, Shepard don't give me that. How many suicide missions we endured?" Joker deflected her worry with humour. He nonchalantly sat on the handle of his chair and gave her his usual i-am-not-amused Joker look.

Her face has lit up and she laughed, that sad and beautiful smile directed at him and it made Joker chest tight with dozens of different emotions and regrets. Was it too late for them?

Shepard straightened and moved, silently pacing around small room, her brow furrowed in serious thinking. He watched her every step, knowing this may be last time he would ever see her and he wanted to remember everything. Ahh, we wouldn't want to be sentimental now, right?

,, Let's do this then, "she turned to face him and offered a hand to help him stand up.

,, Let's give her a last glorious run."

He hasn't moved and just stared at her in awe, taken aback by her quick decision. Watching him Shepard suddenly felt embarrassed by her gesture. She lowered her hand and wanted to retreat back, but Joker sudden movement startled her. He grabbed her hand fiercely and seconds later she found herself in tight embrace. Bill of his cap has hit her forehead, but she ignored it and they clutched to each other, unsure who started this first.

She spoke first, her breath ghosting over his neck. ,,I thought you weren't people person."

Now it was his turn to laugh. ,,I believe my determination has completely died in a moment I said I will go whenever you will. "

Shepard smiled, not able to let go of him yet. ,,And I thought you were talking about ship. "

,,Both," he grinned, his beard pleasantly tickling her cheek. Maybe there really can be some time for them, he thought.

Joker pulled back, his arms still tightly placed around her and looked straight into her amazing green eyes.

,, Besides, you wouldn't be able to manage her without me."

,,Of course I would. I am Shepard, remember?"

,,Nah."

She wasn't surprised when she felt his lips on hers. She wasn't surprised by her own hungry kisses, her hands immediately wrapping around his neck, her body pressed tightly against his. His lips became more demanding, more possessive and she returned it with same fervour. It felt right, as if she waited her whole life only for this moment. They parted after a while, smiling.

,,We are so clichéd," she whispered into his ear, sending more shivers down his body. Joker agreed with her, moving his head slightly, his hand tangled in her hair. It felt good to be sentimental.

Red controls lit up all over holo screen and covered the place with different kind of light. It immediately chanced mood around them and they both turned, looking at Normandy console. Someone finally noticed their unauthorized access.

,,We should go," she stated.

And he understood and didn't hesitate any longer. After all there was no time for regret.

* * *

,,How much time until we hit the relay? ," she asked and her heart skipped when she remembered that it used to be exactly like this in those old times.

,,ETA about 38 minutes."

She placed her hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly.

Joker looked up and grinned. ,,I can make it whole hour if you want."

She laughed and leaned closer, her fingers touching his neck. Joker eyes fluttered close when he felt her fingertips grazing over his cheek, with each light brush moving closer to his lips.

,,Do it."

* * *

In the end he managed to make it less than one hour and thirty minutes. Some matters just needed to be taken slowly.


End file.
